Jon Stewart did not come to play nice Monday night. The Daily Show host absolutely torched Democrats for caving on the government shutdown just days after celebrating one of their strongest election nights in years.
From the moment he sat down, Stewart looked like someone trying — and failing — to keep his blood pressure under control.
“Tonight’s show is brought to you by: I can’t f*cking believe it,” he opened. “For when the scream emoji just doesn’t cut it.”
And then he let loose.
According to Stewart, Democrats didn’t just compromise — they flat-out surrendered.
Seven Senate Democrats (plus one independent) crossed the aisle to help Republicans end the shutdown without getting the healthcare subsidy protections Democrats were supposedly fighting for.
“You had momentum. You had the wind at your back. You had election wins everywhere,” Stewart said, nearly shouting. “And you still gave up. For what? A promise to maybe talk about the thing you actually wanted later?!”
Stewart drove the point home:
Democrats didn’t even get the deal—just the idea of discussing the deal.
He even pulled out The Art of War, joking:
“Sun Tzu said: ‘Never press your advantage, it’s unseemly. Fighting is exhausting; maybe have a juice box.’”
Stewart also pointed out a suspicious pattern:
All eight senators who caved are not up for reelection until 2026.
“What an AMAZING coincidence,” he deadpanned. “Either they all suddenly lost their spine at the exact same time, or leadership coordinated the whole thing behind closed doors so they could surrender without getting yelled at until after election season.”
Then he compared Democrats’ negotiating strategy to a football team that keeps losing despite having a lead late in the game:
“This is a world-class collapse,” Stewart said. “It’s like being up by ten with three minutes to go and still finding a way to lose for the fourth time this month.”
His final blow landed hard:
“How are we being led by the only old people who don’t stubbornly cling to things? Holding on to bad decisions is literally the one thing old people are famous for. And this group said: ‘Hmm, maybe we should just fold.’ What are we even doing here?”
The shutdown officially ended after the Senate voted 60–40, reopening the government.
But the progressive wing of the party is furious, and calls for Chuck Schumer to resign are growing louder by the day.